Sat, 18 Oct 2003 19:02:43 GMT

I swear right now that I love that boy more than anything. he's incredible. nobody could make me feel this way.

Fri, 17 Oct 2003 10:01:54 GMT

today's my one year anniversary. and that makes today perfect.

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 01:08:55 GMT

dad comes back thursday. mom comes back the week afterwards.
I'm spending this whole weekend with brian. we're gonna have fun.

& guess who has the coolest cousins in the whole world? yep, I do. uncle terry's old laptop is getting sent to me from marc. I'm excited because I get to get rid of this desk and computer, which is not even a year old yet, and give them to tyler. I'll have more room and a laptop, which is what I've always wanted. but I'd much rather have uncle terry alive with it then for me to have it. everyone tells me not to worry. so I'm not.

& when I'm not so lazy, I'm uploading pics of marc & the baby & andrea. they're really cute.

Sat, 11 Oct 2003 22:23:51 GMT

daddy left today for england. I miss him already. and mommy. I wish none of this had ever happened. I can't believe uncle terry's gone. it's not fair. it's just not fair.
I hope I get to go to brian's today. cause this is killing me.

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 21:45:29 GMT

you know what I recently discovered?
I couldn't be without him. some crazy mess went on recently and the topic of breaking up came into the picture. he said something along the lines of 'I don't want to lose you, but I don't want these problems either'
I felt like someone was stabbing me. I went into hysterics. tears were flowing, pleas were being said, even though we were talking online. I didn't know it would hurt so bad. we didn't break up. in fact, our relationship has only gotten stronger from it and our one year anniversary is in exactly a week. but it was just painful. I told him I'd fix everything. I told him I was sorry a million & one times. when we got done, he asked if we could never go back to that subject again. I agreed.
I don't like people. well, scratch that. I don't like people who talk. that's what started that mess. it's just that it seems like she wants to ruin our relationship. I guess she never realized how in love we are.
he's the only one who makes me feel this way. the only one who I can say anything to or ask anything and not look stupid. the only one who's jacket I love wearing...because it smells just like him, because it's warm, and because he looks a million and 48 times better in my furry one than I do.
it's the way when I squat down at the locker to get our books, he's behind me kissing me a million times on my cheeks and neck and ear. even though he's risking detention, he promises we can kiss in there too.
I'm so in love. people keep telling me I'm really not and that I won't know what love is until I've had my heart broken. no. everyone's guaranteed one true love in your life. sure, you'll have other "loves" but you'll know when it's the one. and even at fifteen, I just know. I know I know I know I know a quadrillion times I know. no one could make me feel this way about myself. no one could make me have a more positive outlook on life. no one could treat me this way...and I don't want anyone to.
no matter what kind of day I'm having, all he has to do is his little crooked smile cocked to the right, or his perfect smile that makes me melt power and my day is instantly better because I've fallen in love all over again. I'm head over heels for the boy and nothing could change that.
everytime we're together, it feels like there's fireworks going off. and not the rinky dink ones. I mean the ones that crackle and crackle and crackle. over and over. the colors just keep changing. and no matter how bad your neck is hurting or how tired you are from standing, you can't stop looking. you just stare at the sky. even though you know when the sound is going to happen, it still makes you jump and smile. all at the same time.
that's how I feel. it feels like my favorite disneyland fireworks are in reply mode when I'm with him. I've never felt like this before. he's my first love...and I hope he's my last. I've never loved a guy like I do him. never ever.
once in a while.. right in the middle of an ordinary life.. love gives us a FAIRY TALE.
welcome to my fairytale.

Thu, 09 Oct 2003 01:23:05 GMT

someone's letting fireworks off next door. they must know that I fell in love all over again today.
oh, and I'm back.

I hear fireworks